Happy Mother's Day to me. I don't need anyone to say it to me because I hear you, Anthony saying to me Loud and Clear....
Alot has changed this past year. Your Estate has been officially closed. Five years of legal bull crap is finally DONE, and just getting myself up and running. I can finally put one foot in front of the other and get my life back on track...somewhat. It will never be the same.
I tell people, I'm learning how to live a new life without you. It's hard when my life was you for 18 years. And it will probably take the long to figure things out.
Things are changing, family has changed and it's just sad and as I always say and have watched happen these past 5 years is....KARMA!!!
Miss you everyday, I get your message and love you more then ever. My heart will always be broken. Time DOES NOT heal wounds or as time passes...YOU NEVER FORGET!!!
I remember everything and those memories are so vivid it's kinda hard to handle, like the night you were taken away from me. Never forget that night, every heartbreaking second of it till today!
Love you Anthony. You are again being adopted by a high school this year, adopted for the SADD Program.
So here we are, 5-years, the day after. Some days it feels like yesterday. Some days it feels like a nightmare. Some days it feels like it never happened but everyday I am reminded of my nightmare every time a wake up. The things that Anthony and I did together remind me. The things we did together, the travel, the fun, the ice skating, the skiing, the bike riding, the roller bladding, the beach, the swimming, the jet skiing, the snow ball fights, the paintball, the off-road in the Xterra, the movies, the phone calls everyday, the "I love u moms", the mall, the friends, the food Anthony ate.....
As I said last night, this may be the last Vigil until we reach the 10-year mark. It is so draining for me. I get it, it's a good reminder to people that we lost Anthony to a drunk driver. We are not celebrating his death but his life and that we will never forget him. Anthony is a part of our lives until we die. Whether we like it or not he is there and he is awesome!
What a great boy Anthony was, even when he was a pain in the ass....lol. I try to remind people that the Vigil is as much for us but for Anthony. He is no longer with us physically but he is around as our Angel for sure.
Thank you to everyone who came last night. It was a bit wet but it was fun and the tree looks amazing!!! Anthony Ford did a fantastic job getting the ornaments up high on the tree which is probably 15 feet or bigger. Gorgeous! I got some great pictures and some have strange things and give me hope that we are surrounded by Anthony all the time! I love you all and let's put 2011 behind us because I know for me it's been a very tough year.
When people tell you that "time heals all wounds"...NOT TRUE!
When people tell you "God only gives you what you can handle"...not sure about that one. I think we just have to figure it out.
When people tell you the "As time goes by the pain is less"...maybe a little....just a little...
So everyone who celebrates the Holidays, Merry Christmas. I don't celebrate. Just my thing now. Id rather treat myself, get away from it all and make my own memories of life without my boy Anthony!!!
No word can ever express this day 12 15 2006 / Cheryl Pinto (Mom#1)
Well what can I say...5 Years have gone by so much has changed. People like me grow older ....Austin has grown so much in 5 years Anthony you wouldn't believe he is taller than you and Ryan. Ryan is getting out of the Army he is not happy, hasn't been for quite some time. Let's face it he left for the Army...Was gone almost 8 months returned on November of 2006 only to lose his best friend in December of 2006 to a drunk driver...He has never been the same maybe some people would say that is not true, but Im his mother and I know the pain he has of losing you eats at him EVERDAY..He is getting out the Army I think he needs to find himself and what will truly will make him happy he is talking Air Force guess only time will tell. I'm not sure if he will attend the vigil he doesn't see it like we do as a celebration he see's it as the pain of losing you relived again..So don't think he doesn't care Ant cause he does he TRULY does...Well just know life does go on but the lives you touched and the people who knew and loved you will never forget you and we all know we will eventually meet again.....Much love and never ending peace to all who hurt by the loss of you Anthony watch over the ones that are fragile and need guidance you know who they are....Miss ya love ya Cheryl Aka Mom # 1
Today starts a month of dates that are probably going to test me again, as I think they will for the rest of my life. If I choose to do them all, it will continue to keep the light on what happened to Anthony and to me and my family. And of course Anthony's friend. Today I came on his site and was blown away to see 50,000 visits. It's unbelivable!!
Saturday, November 19th is Red Ribbon Kickoff. This is an annual event that reminds everyone that drinking and driving this time of the year is the highest. The number of drunk driving offenses happen and don't think for a second it could never happen to you!!
MADD RI Candlelight Vigil — Monday, December 5 at 7:00pm. is an event I went to last year and almost did not make it through. Thank God for Briana who helped me. Not sure I will make it through this one.
Annual Ride-Along program with our local police. This I have done before and have pulled over a drunk driver!!! Arrested and off the road! I hope to ride with Officer Tim Marshall/Warwick Police again this year, end of December.
Anthony's Christmas Tree Vigil - December 15th, 2011....this will go on as the last 4 years. This marks 5 years since life has changed forever.
Christmas - Well I don't celebrate this and not sure I will be going away this year so probably hibernate!!
New Year's Eve - Over hyped.....just means I got through the year, more to come....blahhhh
Anthony's 23rd Birthday - January 7, 2012. Wish I could see what he would be doing today.
I am a very lost this year. Back to my career, fired from my career, changing my career. Nothing seems to stick. Not sure where I will be but it is what it is. I leave with this below:
Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it because nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says "your nowhere near ready" but the other half says "make it yours forever". Anthony, people ask me what I would say if I knew you could hear me? I say I do know. I love you. God I miss you. And I know you can hear me. AAG forever in my heart.
I found this from a friend and it spoke to me so I am sharing with all of you:
No one ever allows their mind to really think about losing a child because the thought is too horrible. I remember over the years thinking "what if something happened to my son" then I would push the thought right out of my mind because it was not thinkable...I couldn't let my mind go there. Each special person in my family is so unique and important that life just could not be the same without him.
Sadly I do know what life is like without Anthony. I didn't choose it. I didn't want it. Sometimes I still can't believe it. The unthinkable happened. Its not supposed to happen. It can't happen! And yet Anthony isn't here with me any more. No matter what I do or think. He is absent. Four & 1/2 years ago my beautiful wonderful 17 year old son Anthony died at the hands of a drunk driver.
Somehow life keeps moving even without him here. Time keeps plodding forward. I smile again and laugh. I enjoy life. "You better let me go first Lord! I pray " :) (Like I have a choice in the matter). I wonder what life would be like now if Anthony were here still. What he would like to do now. We miss him every day and yet....wow....he is with our Lord. Nothing better could happen to him. Our loss is his gain.
The cool thing is that God has created each amazing and unique child to be eternal! Anthony may have died physically....but he is not snuffed out of existance. He is alive! He is with my Lord right now. I will see him again and he will be perfected...exactly as God meant for him to be. The wait seems to be forever but it is just a blink in all of eternity. Thank you Lord Jesus that this separation is only temporary!
I admit I am not one for God in my posts but this just spoke to me in a way that I had not thought about before. Yes I do know for a fact Anthony is in a much better place. But it still hurts beyond belief.
Been a while since I have visited!!! / Mom Read >>
Been a while since I have visited!!! / Mom
Hey Anthony
It has been quite a long time since coming to your site to celebrate your life your memory. It has been a very very hard year. Dealing with my job my career that is falling apart. Finding some clarity on some things and hoping that this surgi-center just works out otherwise it's time for a big career change into something completely different. It's crazy to think that being a surgical tech and doing what I do today is something that is hard for me today! Especially when you find something you love. Well fingers crossed!!!
As far as everything else I guess I want your friends and family to know that 4 years and 4 months later we also remember your friends who also lost their lives not by a drunk driver but none the less they are with you. Tim Corrina Marissa & Tiffany! All 4 years you all have been in your new world.
My legal woes are slowly coming to an end with your ABSENT father getting money out of your case yes I want people to know that Steven Ricci is getting money from your death. Sorry if this hurts anyone of who I love but you need to know. Why because people will do just about anything to get money and it's just something I cannot bring my self to accept!!!
Simas who hit and killed you was denied parole and is staying in the ACI for another two years....good!
I don't hear from your friends as much. Or see them much. Of course Briana is always in my life. So people move on with their lives and I am always kinda stuck but making some progress in my life.
So that's about it home with nana and poppie is better than people can think. They are my rock. Anthony was always my rock still is but now they are too!!!!
Ill try not to let to much time go by to come and leave an update but it is so hard to come onto this website knowing it is here because Anthony is not. It's a reminder that makes me cry and shake my head in disbelief still. People may think that time passes and things get easier but it's not true. You don't find closure. It's like a sharp piece of glass that has dulled just a bit. That is the only way I can describe it.
Everything at this time of the year reminds me of you everything. Because we did so much together in this great weather. The traveling for me has not stopped and I have three great trips coming up.
Juni is with my girlfriends to one of the most beautiful places in the world St. Lucia to be at my Uncle's 50th Birthday in Winchester England in Juli and of course for Christmas this year is Costa Rica.
Traveling brings me so close to you Anthony and thank you for visiting. I love the little surprises. The street name was a good one. Thank you for being there for my good friend D!
Miss you with all my heart broken but what is remaining!!!! LOVE MOMS Close
Father's Day / Moms
As all of you know I was Anthony's MOM. No Father involved in this wonderful boy's upbringing. I want to make sure we all remember that the one and only POPPIE was the one Anthony looked up to. Every day for every issue and Anthony Loved his Poppie so much. He also Loved his grandfather and Kurt who is also looked to. And his Nana and Auntie. He loved Jordan and Kenzie and we were his main support.
And ME. I was the mom and dad.
Love u Ant.... Close
Mother's Day - Another passes bye. / Moms
And we sit with empty arms and full hearts
spilling eyes and quivering lips as we pass the aisles of cards-
the ones that wish a Happy Mothers Day and we feel blinded sometimes by the phrase-
because they are not here
and so I whisper my greetings
not seen on a card at the store
and I see what the decorations that line my words;
birds and dragonflies vistas of places visited long ago
and my words are simple and true
Thank You Son
for all the ways you have filled my heart
for all the love that will carry me home
one day to you. Close
I had this in a file, came across-pass along.. / Mom Read >>
I had this in a file, came across-pass along.. / Mom
Please Do Not Drive & Drive
Thank you all who came to the Hockey
Memorial Game on Saturday. It was very scary for me at first...then as the boys came on the ice my heart stopped for a minute I had to look away. Then I looked at one then two then all of the skaters and each one had a similar push off with the skate the way they held their stick the slap shot from the corner blue line...Anthony is skating on the ice...I could see him the sounds brought me right back to all the awesome games and time and friends I have had through the years. Thank you poppie for helping me I was shaking a couple of hours before the game I was scared to death and he was right it was going to be okay. I had fun.
Thank you SADD from Pilgrim High you girls did a great job.
I Went to a Party Mom
E-mail this poem to e friend
'I went to a party Mom'
I went to a party
and remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink Mom
so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself
the way you said I would
that I didn't drink and drive
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice
and your advice to me was right
as the party finally ended
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car
sure to get home in one piece
I never knew what was coming Mom
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement
And I hear the policeman say
'The kid that caused this wreck was
drunk '
Mom His voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me
as I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say
'This girl is going to die.'
I'm sure the guy had no idea
while he was flying high
because he chose to drink and drive
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid Mom
tell daddy to be brave
and when I go to heaven
put 'Daddy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have taught him
that its wrong to drink and drive.
Meibe if his parents had
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter Mom
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom
as I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say I love you Mom
So I love you and good-bye.
I am not the Author of this Poem The Author is Unknown This poem was found floating around my High School. I thought I should share it with everyone. Close
3 years and time had stood still! / Moms
Three years what can I say. It's still a dream and a nightmare combined. I have to admit that with all the legal crap I am STILL dealing with I walk each day in a bit of a haze. Not sure some days how to feel cry laugh bitch complain...but the only thing I have to cry bitch and complain about is my life now without Anthony. Is that selfish well no it's my reality. I am waiting for the other "shoe" to drop. The Vigil for Anthony last night just still amazes me and how many really care and we all are a great circle of friends and family. I find that is very rare in these days. As I read the note from Anthony Broccoli last night I wanted all of you to know that still Anthony is alive and helping us all through. And letting everyone know about people in my life who I cherish that are going there own "tradegy" now. Cancer losing their mom losing there job. It's just beyond words how much I love each and every one of my friends and family and know I can call on any of you and know you will be there in a second.
It's my life now without Anthony. Still figuring out what I am supposed to do but through slow trial and errors I am getting there. Once my legal stuff finally is behind me I can finally take that BIG STEP FORWARD and try and live my life and find some peace and happiness that I have lost.
Anthony...your still that crazy funny amazing boy that I love and think of you constantly and smile and giggle. Love you all...Kathy Close
Three years just wrong that your gone.... / Cheryl Pinto (Aka Ma #1 )Read >>
Three years just wrong that your gone.... / Cheryl Pinto (Aka Ma #1 )
Dear Anthony
We honored you and celebrated your life last night...your tree on the side of Nana Poppies house looks amazing...Your friends family and neighbors were all there...Your Mom is doing so well I'm so proud of her I'm not sure how she does it but she is just amazing. Anthony this time of year is just so hard. I remember that day 12/15/2006 like it was yesterday when Ryan got that awful call..I remember that call from him. Telling me you were gone..What was I to tell Austin...Who I layed to bed and told him you would be fine. I try not to dwell on those bad memories but try to fill my mind and heart with good ones...like you guys eating me out of house and home and sacking out in Ryan's room kids all over the place you ALWAYS looking over my shoulder in the kitchen to see what I was cooking! Christmas cookies is what you saw me making on 01/14/2006..I remember it like it was yesterday...Well its therapeutic for me to write my thougts down and how I'm feeling so just know this. I'm honored to celebrate your life with your family each year and know we love and miss so much...Austin has a hard time talking about you still...and Ryan misses his buddy..Our lives move on but we will never forget you you Anthony!
Kathy just a quick hello to let you know that Anthony is thought of so often as you are. I'm glad to hear that you've come full circle. I'm still in the ER a job I love although at times see so much heartache.
I wish you well as you continue on the journey of finding your way.
Dear ANTHONY BROCCOLI / Mom
Your message is something I hope continues to stay alive. We must teach our kids friends family people every day that we can't take anything for granted. There has been alot of tragedy again this year. Not sure why what is the reason but I just have to hope that we will all be together again.
I have not been able to go to Anthony's crash site for about a year now. I know it's there...I know people see it drive by it. It's funny because Anthony always said that roadside memorials where "cheesy". He could not understand why people would want to go to a place where someone died. I think it reminds people just one person to slow down or not drink when they are out.
This year has been very hard for me I still meet people till this day that knew Anthony or know his story. It's amazing.
Keep doing what your doing....and pray your boys will stay safe as they get behind that wheel. Where their seatbelts don't drink and drive. And pray that they don't find themselves the victim as Anthony did that night. Driving home from work and now he is gone. In a blink on an eye my life changed forever. It sucks but I'm happy to know Anthony is always remembered never forgotten.
Thank you Anthony....Kathleen Anthony's mom or as his friends call me....gemma's mom Close
3 YEARS / ANTHONY BROCCOLI (NONE)
Just wanted to let the family know that there are complete strangers out here that have not forgotten what happened that day....i own Brocks collision center in warwick ri and being in this busness i have seen a lot of tradgy. i hope its ok but i tell anthonys story to a lot of younger kids of driveing age....i refer to your son as the kid that was doing everything right..and its still that dangerous to be on the road. I have two boys 1 with his license and 1 with a driving permit (being in this busness it scares the hell out of me!)and they both know anthonys name very well. I live in the area where it happened and i see the memorial every day.....except chrismas day.....i cant look at it on that day...i pray this letter didnt hurt any feelings (im better at my job than i am at writing). anthony will not be forgotten in my life time as in yours i hope its ok with your family that i contiue to tell these kids his story.
Anthony B Broccoli
12 Butler Drive
Johnston RI 02919 Close
SADD adopted Anthony at Pilgrim High School / Moms Read >>
SADD adopted Anthony at Pilgrim High School / Moms
My Name is Tenley Sodeur vice president of Pilgrim SADD. Each year we adopt a victim through MADD and this year we specifically requested Anthony as our victim. This year at Pilgrim High School we are planning many events to keep his spirit alive. During the month of September we put the final touches on our Victim Garden in the front of the school and added a stone in Anthonys' memory. We also recently put together a showcase to honor Anthony. During the last week of Oktober we will be participating in Red Ribbon Week which will be a tribute to Anthonys' life. Some of the days that will be held are:
- Hat Day
- Crazy Sock Day
- Wear Red Day
and Monday we will be selling red ribbons for people to wear.
Our SADD group will also be making a "chain of life" which is a paper chain with each link signed by the pilgrim faculty and students. This chain represents the students promise to not drink or abuse other substances. This paper chain will be hung up in the cafeteria during Red Ribbon Week. Another thing we are still in the middle of planning is a hockey game that will be held in Anthonys' memory I will update you with more information as we get things straightened out. Pilgrim SADD will also be taking part in a event called Mocktail which we hope you can attend and see what we have conjured up. At the end of each year Pilgrim SADD makes a donation to MADD which will be given in Anthonys' name.
We are always open to suggestions and would love for you to come to the events we have lined up :) Close
Just 2 months till 3 years is upon us. / Moms (Moms)Read >>
Just 2 months till 3 years is upon us. / Moms (Moms)
It's still a dream to me. Anthony is gone. My buddy my life is gone. He was taken away to young so full of life and dreams. I'm doing better. I have found that one thing has happened..."full-circle". I have heard people say that...well we all come "full-circle". That has happened to me just this week. When I lost Anthony the world as I knew it ended. I have spent the last 2 years 10 months learning to live a new life. One thing was leaving the career I had worked so hard for and loved. Working in the O.R. Doing what I do best in the O.R. Trusting my instincts trusting my moves trusting my ability to concentrate don't get lost in my thoughts. It's been hard finding my way back it it finally happened. The place I did my clinical at and worked for three years has hired me back 5 years later and I can't tell you how happy and nervous I am. But I have come full circle.
The other one I am learning to stay cautious with is "people get what they deserve" "what goes around comes around". I can't explain and know that I am watched always with legal issues that...YES...I am still dealing with. It makes me strong stay strong for Anthony. It makes me thankful for the family and friends I have. It makes me humble. It makes me appreciate every day. It makes me realize what is needed and what can wait. Another good thing to come out of a bad situation.
It still drives me crazy when I see people drinking and driving. Why call a cab get a ride. I don't think people realize what they really take away from the person they kill they take away everything. It goes so much farther than just losing Anthony. It will never go away. You never find closure. The constant pain and sadness just dulls a bit.
I am thankful for my life 18 years with my son Anthony. I thank you all still for your support and some day I can really take that deep breath take that next big step and put some bad stuff behind me.
Until then I just look at it as I am not ready to have it in my life yet. What will be will be.
Love to u all...xoxoxo
Anthony always in my heart always...... Close
Anthony you would be so proud!! / Cheryl Pinto (MA # 1 )Read >>
Anthony you would be so proud!! / Cheryl Pinto (MA # 1 )
Dear Anthony
It's bee awhile!! We miss you so much. So much has changed people have changed and some not for the better. I wish you were here. I know Ryan misses you so much but you would be so proud of him..he is doing so good. He is learning how to fly HE LOVES IT..OMg if you were here he would take you up with him..HE took Nicole and Austin and I"m next lord help me he he he...He is still with an instructor but he is doing so good. He wants to become a commercial pilot no flies on him Ant big $$ there lol!! He will stay in the Army until he gets his licenses and then he will figure out what he will do...He has turned into quite the young man and I'm SO SO proud of him and I wish you were her to share all this with himHe is the most amazing brother to Austin and such a postive role model...Everyone is doing well and I just wanted to stop and say hi..I see your Mom at the gym she looks great and its nice to see her smile sometimes now...Although I know the pain is forever there..Love to you always xoxoxox
Cheryl :)
PS please watch over Ryan especially when he is in the sky...will be easier up there he is closer to you!!
Father's day / Family Member
Dear Kathy and Anthony,
As we all know the only "Father" Anthony knew was his poppie, Irish. He watched him grow up, taught him right from wrong. Taught him the reasons to be a man. When he got into trouble, good or bad, poppie set him straight. This is a hard day for Poppie, missing his son and his grandson...we are here for the whole family. Our family.
Poppie taught Anthony how to fix a car, change a tire, change the oil, fix brakes, you name it, poppie showed him.
Miss you Anthony. We know you are around us all everyday. God Bless Close
i know your pain / Liz Lampkin
my name is liz lampkin and i am so very sorry another family has suffered at the hands of a drunk driver. my son william-boynton.memory-of.com was hit by a drunk driver in his own yard. he was mowing his lawn on a saturday morning and a drunk driver in a van ran off the road and hit him. he was hit from behind so he never even knew what happened. i will pray for your family because on 5-20 tommy will be gone 3 years and i know that time is not working for me. i hope you have found some kind of peace, Close
Mother's Day..3rd one without Anthony / Moms (Moms)Read >>
Mother's Day..3rd one without Anthony / Moms (Moms)
Sunday, May 10, 2009, third one without Anthony. As I try and remember the past year, I am actually at a loss. Not much I remember. Trying to figure out my way. Still struggling with things and it does not ever get easier, it actually makes you wonder more about the "what ifs''...
Some people tell me, "it's time to move on". But how? How do you move on from a life you only knew for 18 years. Being a single mom to a great boy was my life. Anthony and my career was my life. I never had a serious boyfriend, never got married, stayed close to my family and learned who my true friends are, but to move on is like telling me to move to New York and start over, makes you really freak out a bit.
What do you do, how is it to move on. I have just learned that I can only do what I can do. I can't do it for anyone else, even my family.
As I live home with my mom and irish, it's wierd but still good. It feels good. Will I ever get my own place again, well who knows. Really who knows anything. My life that I knew was torn away from me in a flash, how do you make a new life...you don't.
And to still be dealing with legal issues regarding money is something I will never understand, but will always do what is right for Anthony, and that is what it always has been about...my son.
Going to the gym is a passion of mine and love it. Eating dinner almost every night at home at the dinner table is something I cherish. Seeing my best friend Dave and always know he is there is for me I cherish. I am happy in a job I have found finally.
So to my friends and family, thank you again and Happy Mother's Day to me. My buddy is shining bright. I miss him and will always be my life.
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